Alice VS.....The Trick or Treating Baby

If you have ever been the giv-ee of candy on All-Hallow's Eve, then you have met this new phenomenon. It's the Halloween BABY with zero teeth who has apparently decided to trick-or-treat even though they can barely hold their head up and have no idea what walking is and won't for about a year;  but you have to salute their dedication.    No wonder childhood obesity is up, they are starting to beg for candy younger and younger.  I love the parent who so enthusiastically shoves the plastic pumpkin in my face while precious is sound asleep, oblivious of this violation of Halloween decorum.  They should be handed a ticket for this offense rather than a treat.  Here's an idea: If you really want candy that badly, go out and BUY some!  You could even wait till the day after Halloween and snag major candy that should last you until the good Lord returns!  Somehow, this should be considered a form of child abuse, using your child for candy that they will taste.   I have even seen a greater offense when a PREGNANT woman (no one else was with her) rang my doorbell and asked for candy.  When I asked where her spook was, she pointed to her stomach!  UH, sure, I GUESS the BABY is somehow going to enjoy the candy through the miracle of gestation, unlike the toothless, sleeping child I saw earlier! Still, this is TACKY, right? I love Halloween like the next person; ask anyone I know, or simply LOOK at me and it's evident that I LOVE CANDY; but I never, EVER took my pups (PUPS: noun: Children)  out to beg for candy unless they were able to walk up to the door and ASK for candy using the tradition greeting of the season, "Trick or Treat! Smell my feet, give me something good to eat"!  That was always a winner! I remember one year when my daughter was about 3 or 4, the gentleman at the door gave her the treat, she looked at it and said, "PEANUTS?!! He gave me PEANUTS MOM!! I HATE peanuts" and so it went as she slowly walked down the path, away from his house, complaining LOUDLY as she left! I was laughing so hard but had enough sense to apologize to the man! Bless his heart; thankfully, he too, had a sense of humor! Everyone's a critic!  I have loaded up my candy bowls, ready for the onslaught of spooks, goblins, princesses and the like with eagerness. Tonight I will be dressed as the Bride of Frankenstein, even though my husband's name is Ron.  Last year I was Cruella DeVil! LOVED that costume the best.  I enjoy the homemade costumes the best but love all the little faces more than anything!  It is a fun time for children of all ages, but really think parents should wait till they pups are a little older before they "allow" them to score candy,  at least until they are out of the womb.  Maybe if I handed them a jar of baby food, rather than candy, they would get the hint.  Doubt it, but for ME, the look on their faces would be the TREAT enough for  me!