Bloomingdale Patch Welcomes Etiquette Blogger

In a world where the words "please" and "thank you" are abbreviated in text messages, and dinner table conversation is drowned out by the blare of the television set, manners have taken a backseat in many American households.

"There's so much technology today, we've forgotten our basic interpersonal skills," said Lisa Aber, a FishHawk Ranch mother of three. "And our manners have suffered."

It was a desire to return to that simpler time of civility and common courtesy that prompted Aber to launch her business, Manners DO Matter, five years ago after moving from New York to Lithia.

She noted that her children's visiting friends would stand with the refrigerator door wide open, scoping the contents for something to eat without asking first. Or they would spend the night and leave the next morning with nary a goodbye or thank you for the hospitality.

"I started to look around and notice that common courtesy wasn't being followed," Aber said.

Like a modern-day Emily Post, Aber decided to launch a one-woman mission to put the words "please" and "thank you" back into everyday vocabulary.

"I worked with a woman who developed a curriculum for manners, and became certified," Aber said. "But as I did more research into manners, I started developing my own curriculum with customized programs to teach manners to children of different ages."

Aber now teaches her Manners DO Matter curriculum to children at programs, the Young Chef's Academy in Bloomingdale, Music Showcase, this week's Brandon Junior Woman's Club Teen Girls Forum, at in FishHawk Ranch and, starting next month, she will offer an after-school program at child-care centers for children in grades kindergarten through fifth.

"While the majority of my students have been girls, there are certainly plenty of boys out there who could use a refresher in manners," Aber said.

She's also developed a curriculum geared to teens that prepares them for applying for college or a first job.

"Manners are a life skill that can take you a long way," she said. "Kids aren't being taught simple things like making eye contact, standing when someone enters a room and giving a firm handshake. Those things show you're trustworthy and make a positive first impression."

One of her pet peeves is when she sees a group of teens standing around, heads bent, texting on their cell phones rather than communicating with one another.

"You don't communicate by text," she said. "My fear is these kids will get out into the real world and won't know how to communicate. I almost think there's too much technology. There's no longer a need to pick up a phone to talk to someone or write a letter. The whole art of letter-writing is gone. We're losing our social graces."

Aber's classes are geared to the age group she is teaching and include friendly games and competitions.

"We discuss things like the difference between a bold-faced lie, a little white lie and stretching the truth," she said. "They learn there is no such thing as a good lie. 

"And we discuss rude behaviors such as talking over one another," she said.

Topics covered in her classes include showing respect, making a good first and last impression, place settings and table manners, telephone manners, verbal and nonverbal communication skills, "Netiquette," or cell phone communication, thank-you notes, friendship manners, sportsmanship, image and hygiene.

However, you won't have to take one of her classes to receive the benefits of Aber's expertise. Starting this week, the certified manners trainer will begin writing a blog for Bloomingdale Patch, discussing various aspects of manners and answering residents' nagging questions about proper etiquette.

Aber encourages Bloomingdale Patch readers to contact her with etiquette questions or concerns they are having at mannersdomatter@verizon.net or visit her website at mannersdomatterllc.com/About-Us.html.