New Ministry Provides Support for Adoptive Families

It was shortly after he was adopted that 4-year-old Evan Ososkie questioned his new adoptive mom, Janis, about the difference in their skin colors.

Janis Ososkie is white; her son is black.

Using a comparison a child could comprehend, Ososkie turned over Evan's palm then placed her own palm next to his.

"See, we're the same color," she said. "We're all the same color on the inside."

To explain adoption, she tells Evan that he "grew up in mommy and daddy's hearts, not mommy's tummy."

For now, Evan seems satisfied with that explanation. But there may come a time when he has more questions. That's one of the reasons Ososkie and fellow adoptive parent Pearl Chiarenza started the Holy Family Adoption Ministry at St. Stephen Catholic Church in Valrico. 

 They wanted to provide support for fellow adoptive families facing similar questions from their children and similar problems adjusting to life in an adoptive family.

Ososkie said the new ministry also hopes to serve as a resource for families considering adoption, a decision she highly recommends.

"I was adopted so this is really big in my heart," said Ososkie. "We hope to offer spiritual guidance and support for other families that are going through what we've gone through."

It was after she was married that Ososkie discovered she could not have children. To Ososkie, who grew up in a family with four adopted children, not being able to have her own wasn't a problem. She knew she would simply adopt.

"I always knew I wanted to give back in some way, and when I wasn't able to have children, it seemed as if God was calling me to adopt," she said.

The decision to adopt was a lot simpler than the reality for Ososkie and her husband, David.

"We were on a waiting list with the state, but it was taking forever," she said. "Finally, we sought help from a private adoption agency. From start to finish, it took us four years to adopt Evan. But when we finally got him, it was awesome."

Laura Diaz waited five years to facilitate her international adoption. But she said it was worth the wait. In February, she returned from southern China  nestling Sophie Lu-Vi, now 13 months, in her arms.   

"When a child is actually in your arms, you just know it's right," said Diaz.

Adoption also seemed a natural route for Barb Darkangelo.

"After 10 years of marriage and still no children, we decided it was time to adopt," she said.

She began searching to adoption photo galleries in various states before finding three brothers, now ages 6, 11 and 13, in Oregon who were available for adoption. Then seven-month wait before their adoption request was approved.

"We started out with no kids and ended up with three," she said. "It took some adjustment. They're really good kids but it took a couple of months of work before things settled down. It was trial and error."

Luckily, Darkangelo had Ososkie to lean on.

"Janis was there for me. She really helped out, offering advice and support. I don't know what I'd have done without her. Janis and I were a mini support group for one another," said Darkangelo. "It was good to have someone to complain to, someone to talk to about the frustrations, someone to listen and give you a hug."

Thirteen-year-old Derrian recalls the first few months after he was adopted by the Darkangelos.

"I was mad and happy at the same time," he said. "I was happy to be adopted but made I was leaving the foster home I'd been in for two years.

"I think for the oldest, the adjustment is the most difficult," said Darkangelo. "He has a lot more memories,"

"It probably took me half a year to get used to my new home," agreed Derrian, who is now involved in playing football, baseball and soccer.  "I still miss my foster family and talk to them sometimes. But now I don't have to go to different foster homes. It's over with."

To Chuck and Pearl Chiarenza, it just seemed natural to adopt a child.

"It's one of those things I just prayed for," said Pearl Chiarenza. "In my family, we've had a lot of adoptions. It was something we just knew we wanted to do."

The process to adopt was lengthy, recalled Chiarenza. "But once we finally got the call, we had him in two weeks."

Matthew, now 14, instantly became part of the family, said Chiarenza.

Adoption was the last thing on Janice Farmer's mind. She already had two grown sons, Eric, 33, and Kevin, 31.

"Then I met Justin," she said.

That was in 2007. The foster mother for the 2-year-old happened to bring him to Resurrection Catholic Church one day. Farmer said she laid eyes on him and fell in love.

"He was born to a drug-addicted mom and was going through withdrawal. He had trouble with his colon and was developmentally delayed," said Farmer. "And we weren't looking to adopt a child. But God was telling us it was right."

Although it took awhile for Justin, now 6, to adjust to his new environment, Farmer said she's never regretted her decision to adopt him.

"He's such a blessing," she said. "He's brought us a lot of love."

Nevertheless, she said, adopting any child presents unique issues that parents of natural children don't face.

That's why she's thankful for the Holy Family Adoption Ministry.

"It's nice to hear the things others have experienced and know you're not alone," said Farmer. "We can share insights into how adoptions has affected our lives." 

"It means a lot to know there are other families you can turn to for help," said Diaz.

That's just one of the purposes of the ministry, said Ososkie.

"We also intend to host events for families that will allow the children to get together and bond," she said. "We'll be hosting playdates, family outings and other activities."

So far, the ministry has attracted six families, but Ososkie believes that's just the tip of the iceberg.

"I know there's a lot of other families out there that could use the support," she said.

For information on the ministry, e-mail Ososkie at janisososkie@yahoo.com.